Robert Tennet Reclaims His Intimacy After a Sexual Assault

Queer model Robert Tennet reclaims his intimacy through sensitive poems and photographs of lovers after surviving a sexual assault.

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Cover photo: Robert Tennent (circa 2017). Via Robert Tennent’s website. © Robert Tennent

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This article is part of my 30 Living Queer Artists Worth Celebrating in 2019 series. June is Pride Month, commemorating the international gay rights movement that began June 28th, 1969, with the Stonewall riots of New York. 2019 marks the 50th anniversary of the event. I’m celebrating all month long!

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WARNING: The following article features and/or discusses graphic nudity, sexual assault, rape, and sex.

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Via Robert Tennent’s website. © Robert Tennent

Sexual Assault

In 2017, at age 18, Robert Tennet experienced a sexual assault. Tennent was drugged, his clothes were ripped, and he ran away via the fire escape. He began a period of celibacy and then also therapy. Afterwards, Tennent immortalized his sexual encounters through poems and photography.

Rape and sexual assault remain stigmatized topics, especially among male survivors. 40.2% of gay men and 47.4% of bisexual men have experienced sexual violence other than rape, compared to 20.8% of heterosexual men.

Tennent notes, “I think our society is so reluctant to discuss this because we don't have enough men coming forward. We teach them from a young age to ‘be a man’ and ‘stop crying’. It’s all built on this stereotype that men have to be strong and can’t be vulnerable. It’s caused pain for a lot of them.”

Sexual Violence (not including rape) by Gender and Sexuality

Percentage of People Who Have Experienced Sexual Assault according to U.S. based National Sexual Violence Resource Center (2015).

Recovery Through Remembrance

Five months after the sexual assault, Tennent finally found someone with whom he was comfortable enough to become intimate. Tennent explains, “I took a photo of him after we had sex one time, because I was like, ‘Wow, you’re very handsome’. He took a couple of me, and then that was it. I developed the film and had it on my phone as a little folder and that was all. Until the next guy. That’s how it all started.”

Since then, Tennent photographed a total of 13 men he had sex with, and he wrote accompanying poems. The photos are both vulnerable and mundane, capturing Tennent’s return to intimacy. The poems are personal and melancholic.

Via Metal Magazine. © Robert Tennent

Via Metal Magazine. © Robert Tennent

“When I realized how powerful this project was, I decided to turn it into a book and publish it so people could speak about assault and healing. People would have been less interested if I just released the photos on a website or Tumblr. This way, it is something physically in front of us, begging to be talked about,” Tennent says.

Via Metal Magazine. © Robert Tennent

Via Metal Magazine. © Robert Tennent

“You can certainly feel pleasure again. As hard as it may seem at the beginning, over time it gets easier. I named the book Come Back to Bed for two main reasons. These were words I had heard many times, when you wake before your lover, when they wake up before you do. You want to get back to the place where you were the closest, literally. And the second reason was because it was a message to my younger self. The reality of coming back to bed or being intimate again was possible over time.”

Via Metal Magazine. © Robert Tennent

Via Metal Magazine. © Robert Tennent

Tennent wants to impart to fellow survivors, “That you don’t have to be quiet, and you don’t have to fear going back to the way things used to be before your assault. It’s also a very important conversation that people have to have about healing. I think it’s important to deal with what happened, even though you didn’t want it to happen.”

Via Robert Tennent’s website. © Robert Tennent

Future Prospects

Copies of Robert Tennent’s book Come Back to Bed are still available. 20% of proceeds will be donated to Rape Prevention Education. It’s unclear if Tennent will be creating additional projects, as he appears to be enjoying a successful modelling career (follow Tennent on Instagram). Nevertheless Come Back to Bed is an incredible contribution to both the art world and queer community.